


Ain't No Single Lady

by sterica



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6725992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterica/pseuds/sterica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> Bitty’s enjoying himself until… until Beyoncé comes on. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And that is something that Eric Richard Bittle is honestly ashamed of himself for saying. </i>
</p>
<p><i>But, when he hears the opening notes of ‘Single Ladies’ he’s struck dumb for just a moment, feet glued to the floor, jaw open. His first, embarrassing, won’t admit it until he dies thought is, 'I ain’t no single lady no more'. </i> </p>
<p>Five times Bitty has to pretend he's single, and one time he doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ain't No Single Lady

i. 

Bitty’s first Kegster without Shitty and Jack is weird. Shitty comes first in this one, because Jack was often locked up in his room with a World War Two documentary rather than a beer, whereas Shitty was always on the metaphorical front lines. Still, even if Bitty hadn’t registered it then, he’d always been aware that Jack was just a floor above him while the party was going on. It’s embarrassing, but it’s like a safety blanket has been taken away. Or Señor Bunny.

It starts slow. Bitty’s got a beer in his hand more to have something to hold than to actually drink, and he’s talking to March and April, the former of whom keeps sending not-so-subtle glares Ransom’s way. He’s wishing that he didn’t have the beer so he could text Jack while shielding his phone with his hand - he knows he can never be too careful, and he wouldn’t want to risk outing his boyfriend - when Lardo comes by, grabs his free hand and drags him outside.

“Drink with me.” she demands.

Bitty raises the solo cup to his mouth, not feeling like fighting Lardo on the issue tonight. From the way she keeps looking at him, he decides to down it, covering his mouth with his hand as he finishes.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Lardo asks. Bitty can tell that she’s already a bit drunk from the way she’s swaying slightly and the fact that she’s bringing a topic that can only lead to conversation about Shitty.

“Parties without them?” Bitty asks. “Goodness, yeah.”

It says a lot that neither of the names have to be said. Bitty feels guilty that he hasn’t told Lardo about him and Jack, but it didn’t seem fair to tell some people and not others, and he and Jack both agreed that telling everyone would lead to rumours, even without people intending for information to leak.

Bitty had never understood how Lardo and Jack hung out and only exchanged three sentences between them, but he thinks he’s starting to fill part of Jack’s role this year. He’s got better at understanding when Lardo just needs him to be quiet, to stand there and drink with her without exchanging a word. Part of him wants to directly mention Shitty but he also gets that Lardo probably doesn't want to hear about it right now.

“Boys are dumb.” Lardo says out of nowhere.

Bitty thinks about Jack and the way he now seems to know exactly what Bitty needs. He thinks about the way Jack’s eyes light up when he’s talking about hockey or history or Bitty. He disagrees with Lardo’s assessment.

“Not all of us.” he replies. “But yeah, boys are dumb.” He tacks that on the end because he can almost hear Shitty in his ear, “Men who say ‘not all men’ are too afraid to admit their complacency in misogyny, come on, dude.”

They head back into the Haus and are witness to Whiskey doing his first keg-stand, with Tango looking on. Dex and Nursey are holding him up, whilst Chowder shouts encouragement at him. Bitty tries to remember being a frog, but it feels so long ago. Everything was so different - he thought Jack _hated_ him back then, and look where he is now. _Gosh_.

“What are you smiling at?” Holster appears at his right elbow, making Bitty jump practically out of his skin.

“N-nothing.” Bitty says. “Just thinking how fast frogs grow up these days. Tell me y’all never grew three inches over summer.”

Ransom appears to Bitty’s left and agrees with him. Bitty lets himself be pulled into a conversation, whilst taking gulps from the beer in his hand. There’s a lull in the conversation as someone turns the speakers up and they begin blasting out music. Bitty finds himself swaying to the beat, not paying attention to the song but being caught up in the music nonetheless.

Conversations seem to stop as everyone in the Haus begins dancing. Bitty’s enjoying himself until… until Beyoncé comes on.

And _that_ is something that Eric Richard Bittle is honestly ashamed of himself for saying.

But, when he hears the opening notes of ‘Single Ladies’ he’s struck dumb for just a moment, feet glued to the floor, jaw open. His first, embarrassing, won’t admit it until he dies thought is, _I ain’t no single lady no more_.

After that thought strikes him, Bitty reminds himself that he has enjoyed this song perfectly fine whilst not being a lady, so being in a relationship shouldn’t stop him. Beyoncé is something sacred to Bitty, though, and it almost feels like a betrayal to hold up his hand and point at his ring finger. Lardo’s next to him on the dance floor, and although she doesn’t know the routine like Bitty does, she’s dancing like she has something to prove. Bitty hesitates when Beyoncé asks him to put his hands up. He does it when he notices Lardo glancing his way.

Bitty excuses himself to go to the bathroom - in the middle of the song, which is surely a dead give away that something is wrong, for those who know Bitty - and ends up hiding himself away in his room. He sees that it’s 2am and he sighs - he’d really like to talk to Jack about now, but Jack is in bed by ten on a good day and he isn’t going to wake his boyfriend up at 2am to… to what? To complain about not being able to dance to ‘Single Ladies’? Please.

He Skypes Jack the next morning instead. Jack’s just got back from his morning run and Bitty openly admires him. There’s something much more satisfying about seeing a sweaty guy when you know that you have the power to make them look like that.

“It’s silly, really.” Bitty says when he tries to bring up last night’s incident. He tells Jack what happened. “It’s weird, because it’s _Beyoncé_ , you know? I always want to dance to Beyoncé.”

Jack is silent.

Bitty rambles on. “And it’s not like I’ve ever been a single _lady_ , so I don’t really know why I have such an issue with it, but it just felt plain wrong putting my hands up.”

Jack coughs. “Well, Bitty, I don’t want to get in between you and Beyoncé…”

Bitty is flustered - he didn’t want to make Jack feel unwanted. “Oh, no, honey, I wasn’t…” he trails off as he sees Jack’s shoulders shaking and recognises the face his boyfriend makes when he’s trying not to laugh. “Jack Zimmermann, are you chirping me over genuine Beyoncé related issues?”

Jack laughs loudly, openly. Bitty pretends to be mad for all of a quarter of a second before joining in.

“You know, I’m pretty sure you’re the one who added ‘Single Ladies’ to the Haus party playlist.” Jack says.

Bitty covers his face with his hands. “I brought my Beyoncé issues upon myself.”

“How about you take it off the playlist, eh?” Jack says casually.

Bitty takes his hands off his face. “...You don’t want me to dance to ‘Single Ladies’ either, do you?”

Jack seems to contemplate that for a moment. “Maybe.”

(Later, Bitty sneaks downstairs to edit the Haus party playlist. He removes ‘Single Ladies’ and replaces it with ‘Love On Top’. That, he has no problems dancing to at all.)

 

ii. 

Bitty’s baking - which isn’t a surprise - when Chowder comes into the kitchen, sits down, and doesn’t say a word - which is a surprise. For as long as Bitty has known the frog, he’s never been able to enter a room without saying hello and going off on a remarkably long tangent about one thing or another.

 Putting down his rolling pin - which is something Bitty only does when he’s in a _serious_ situation - Bitty turns around, puts his hands on his hips, and looks at Chowder. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

Chowder looks up at Bitty. He seems reluctant to say anything. “I had a fight with Caitlin.” he says.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Bitty says. “What happened?”

“It wasn’t even over anything important.” Chowder says. “It doesn’t even _matter_ , I just love her so much and I hate it when we fight.” he cuts himself off. He’s not a small person, but with his hands fisted inside of his Shark hoodie’s sleeves and his head bowed down, he’s never seemed to take up less space.

Bitty unties his apron, pulls out a chair and sits down next to Chowder. “Listen, Chris.” he says, pulling out the first name to suit the seriousness of the situation. “Every relationship has its downs. There’s always going to be fights.” He thinks about Jack and the times they’ve fought over minor things. He thinks about persuading his boyfriend that it was worth surviving long distance and secrecy because they were something worth fighting for. When he thinks about his fights with Jack, he realises that all of them were because he and Jack both desperately wanted to fight to be together, not because they ever wanted to be apart. “You’ve just got to decide whether you want to fight through the fights to keep something special. I know you and Caitlin have something special. A fight doesn’t have to be the end of everything.”

Chowder looks like he’s trying not to cry. “You really think so?”

“I know so.” Bitty says. “Any relationship that can get through problems is worth fighting for.”

Chowder seems to be considering something. “You know, you’re good at advice, Bitty. How do you know all this?”

Bitty flushes bright red. “Oh goodness, I don’t know.” he says. “I mean, I’m not in a relationship. Of course I’m not, because then it would be a _secret_ relationship and no one would know about it. I’m single.” He pauses to breathe. “Very single.”

Chowder places his hand on Bitty’s shoulder. “You’ll find someone.” he says reassuringly.

“Pie.” Bitty says loudly. “I have to make pie.”

He gets up from the table and continues baking, turning up his music so no one can ask him any more questions.

 

iii.

Lardo and Bitty are drinking on the roof when Bitty feels confident enough to broach the topic of Shitty. He’s not blind and he’s seen the mood that Lardo’s been in when the tadpoles are constantly asking questions about Shitty. Chowder told him yesterday that he’s heard her crying in their shared bathroom, which is concerning to say the least. To Bitty’s knowledge, it takes a hell of a lot to get Lardo to cry.

“You know, you should really talk to Shitty.” Bitty says. They’re halfway through their second shared bottle of wine, which probably has something to do with his confidence. It also has something to do with his slurred speech.

Lardo just looks at him.

“I’m serious.” Bitty says, although it comes out more like ‘I’m _ssseriousss_.’. “Look, the two of you are like… are like…” he trails off, gesticulating wildly with his hands.

“Like you and Jack.” Lardo says.

“Exactly!” Bitty exclaims, before realising that Lardo doesn’t know anything about him and Jack. His train of thought when replying was, _yes, you’re perfect for each other, like me and Jack_ , not whatever Lardo is intending. “Wait, what?”

Lardo sighs. “You’re telling me to get my shit together with Shitty, yet you and Jack are doing the exact same thing.”

“W-what?” Bitty responds. He begins to look around him for possible escapes, but Lardo is blocking the window so, unless he wants to jump, he’s just going to have to brave this conversation. “There ain’t no sense in that, Lardo.”

“You’re both totally gone on each other, but neither of you is willing to admit that you like the other.” Lardo says. “You’re being a hypocrite, Bitty.”

“Lardo, _you_ know I lo-” Bitty cuts himself off. “ _you_ know I like Jack.”

“Only because I forced it out of you when you were drunk.” Lardo says, which isn’t a lie. “Wait, were you about to say you _lo_ -”

“Oh, look at that!” Bitty yells, pointing down to the ground. “There’s the tadpoles.”

“I can’t see the tadpoles.” Lardo says, staring at Bitty like she thinks there’s something wrong with him.

“Oh my goodness, they’re on their way and I haven’t baked any pie.” Bitty says. He climbs over Lardo’s legs and in through the window. “I’ve got to bake pie!” he yells before getting away as quickly as he can.

Bitty’s already baked pie for the tadpoles - baking isn’t something that he neglects - so he hides himself away in his room to avoid Lardo. He honestly just wants her to be as happy as he is with Jack, but he can’t tell her that so he settles for texting Jack about it.

Bitty: **do we live in some kind of alternate reality where only queer people get the happy ending?**

Jack: **Shitty and Lardo?**

Bitty: **:(**

 

iv.

It’s not that Bad Bob calls Bitty often, it’s just that sometimes Jack forgets to pick up his phone and so Bitty gets a hockey legend checking in with him instead. He gets on with Jack’s dad surprisingly easily: at first the calls are just about Jack, Bob asking Bitty to keep an eye on him, but Bob starts asking about Bitty’s classes and hockey and even _baking_. It’s at the point where Bitty picks up the phone, starts reassuring Bob that Jack’s okay and hears the man chuckle and say he’s desperate to hear about Samwell’s season so far, and how’s his experimental new pie going?

One day, Bitty gets a call while he’s baking. He rinses his hands, picks up, sets the phone onto speaker and continues rolling out dough. The Haus is empty, as far as he knows, with Lardo at the art studios, Rans and Holster doing… something that Bitty knows nothing about but is 100% sure he doesn’t want to get involved in, and Chowder playing mediator between Dex and Nursey at the latter’s dorm.

He’s telling Bob about his the Pinterest account he shares with his Mama when he hears keys in the door and jumbled conversation that involves the word ‘chill’ enough times that he knows the frogs are coming in. He hears enough upward intonation that he figures they’ve dragged Tango along as well.

Bob seems to hear the noises. “Bad time, eh?”

“Oh goodness, it’s just the frogs.” Bitty says. “I’ll call you another time, sir?”

“Eric, you don’t have to call me that.” Bob says. “Please, call me Mr Jack’s Dad.”

Bad Bob hangs up the phone. Eric stands still, rolling pin in hands. “I just got chirped by an NHL legend.” he whispers to himself. He’s not quite sure if any aspect of dating Jack Zimmermann will ever feel real, but this is one of the more surreal experiences that comes along with the relationship.

The frogs come charging into the kitchen, Nursey having Dex in a headlock, Chowder half-heartedly trying to pull them apart. Tango looks at them like he’s not quite sure what’s going on.

“Hey, Bits.” Nursey says. “Who’re you talking to?”

“Oh, goodness.” Bitty says, wondering how he’s going to play this off. “Just Dad Bob.” he pauses.

“Dad Bob?” Tango asks.

“Bad Bob.” Bitty clarifies. Oh my _goodness_ , he has no idea how that slipped out. “That’s his name. He isn’t my Dad. He’s bad… Well, he’s not bad, he’s actually really good, that’s kind of the point...” Bitty trails off.

“I still don’t understand.” Tango says. Bitty honestly cannot blame him.

Chowder takes pity on the tadpole and explains to him who Bad Bob really is while Nursey and Dex turn to Bitty.

“Bad Bob calls you?” Nursey asks.

“Oh, you know…” Bitty waves his hands as if that will provide his very vague sentence with any extra meaning. “He’s into baking. Wanted help on a recipe.” It’s only half a lie.

“Swawesome.” Dex says. “Hey, is there any pie?”

Bitty breathes a sigh of relief. Once the topic is firmly on pie, it’s very unlikely to steer back to anything else.

 

v. 

Long distance relationships are hard, so Bitty has no qualms about Skype sex. In hindsight, though, he probably should have locked his door before calling Jack. He usually does, he was just… flustered. His phone is vibrating in his hand as he closes the door and crosses the room to where his laptop and bed are waiting for him. Jack’s been texting him all day. The embarrassing thing is that it’s hardly explicit, just things like ‘I miss you’ and ‘I miss touching you’ that make it very hard to think about anything other than Jack and his certain talents.

Two seconds after he opens Skype, there’s a call request that he answers immediately. After taking in Jack’s image - will he ever get over how gorgeous this boy is? - he checks his hair in the viewfinder, smoothing it down with his hands.

“You look great, Bitty.” Jack reassures him.

Bitty blushes. “You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.”

Jack’s wearing Bitty’s Samwell shirt, which is just a little bit too tight in all the places that Bitty wants it to be too tight. He lets his eyes look over his boyfriend’s chest, forever thankful that he’s allowed to just _stare_ if that’s what he wants to do.

“See anything you like?” Jack asks, his voice suggestive.

Bitty forces himself to breathe before responding. “You know I do.”

“Tell me.” Jack says.

“I like seeing you in my shirt.” Bitty begins. “Not that it leaves much to the imagination.”

“Do you want to have to imagine?” Jack asks.

“No.” Bitty breathes.

Jack pulls off his shirt. “Do you want to know what I’d do if I was there?” he asks.

Jack was awkward over Skype at first, but he’s embraced the benefits of it. He’s got _good_ at making Bitty squirm just by using his words.

Yes.” Bitty breathes, his one-word answers reminding him of the aftermath of their first kiss.

“I’d start slow.” Jack says, tilting the camera to show where he’s stroking his already half-hard cock. “Take my time.”

“Oh?” Bitty questions, sticking his hand under the sheets to imitate Jack. “And what if I wanted to speed up?”

“Maybe I’d let you.” Jack says. His cheeks are flushed. “You’re good at going hard and fast.”

Bitty’s about to moan when Ransom and Holster barge into his room without knocking. He pulls his sheets up higher, moves the laptop to conceal his erection and promptly turns bright red. IF he lets out a rather ungentlemanly squeal, well, then that’s no one’s business. Jack, on the other side of the camera, doesn’t seem to realise what’s going on.

“Ransom. Holster.” Bitty says through gritted teeth, painfully aware of his hard on.

_Tilt the camera up_ he types in the chat to Jack, realising that if Ransom and Holster were to look at the screen they could see Jack in a very compromising position. It’s just in time, as Ransom and Holster walk around the bed to wave at Jack.

“Oh, you’re shirtless.” Holster says in confusion.

“He just got back from a run.” Bitty blurts out at the same time that Jack says, “It’s very hot in Providence.”

Luckily, Ransom and Holster don’t seem to notice anything wrong. In another stroke of luck, Bitty’s erection has gone - which isn’t surprising, considering he’s got a teammate at each elbow.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt.” Ransom says. “We just heard you coaching Bitty on potential plays.”

“...Although I’m not sure why you’d tell Bitty to go slow at first.” Holster says. “His speed is one of the best tools we’ve got out there.”

“I mean, you said it yourself.” Ransom says. “Bitty’s good at going fast and hard.”

“You’re right.” Jack says, a gleam in his eye. “Bitty’s _great_ at going fast and hard.”

Bitty starts choking on nothing. _I hate you_ he types into the chat box, without the defence men seeing.

“Anyway, we’ll leave you to it.” Ransom says.

Ransom and Holster exit the room. Bitty’s silent for a moment and hears Holster speak. “You know, I kinda thought that Jack would be giving hockey advice to us, not to Bitty. I mean, we are the captains this year.”

“He’s probably just making sure Bitty’s not freaking out about being checked again.” Ransom says.

“Yeah, that’ll be it.” Holster replies. “I wouldn’t blame him for being afraid of big guys slamming into him from behind.”

Bitty looks at Jack and the two of them burst into laughter. “Oh my goodness.” Bitty says. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed in my whole life.”

“You really need to start locking your door.” Jack says.

Bitty agrees. He gets up to do just that before they continue.

(Jack starts talking about Bitty’s ‘stick handling’ and Bitty threatens to hang up on him if he doesn’t take their Skype sex seriously.)

 

+1

It’s late October by the time Bitty makes it to Providence. There’s been a mess of obligations on both their parts: the Falconers games and practice and PR versus college classes and Samwell’s games and practice and keeping up with a remarkable amount of alcohol consumption. Bitty can’t sit still the entire way there, clenching his hands and trying not to think about how soon it is until those hands can be on Jack. It’s not long before it becomes a reality.

In bed that night, still trying to get his breath back, Bitty rolls over to face Jack. He rests his head on Jack’s shoulder.

“I’m so happy to be here.” Bitty says.

“I’m happy you’re here.” Jack murmurs into Bitty’s hair, his palms travelling up and down the expanse of Bitty’s back. “I missed you.”

They haven’t talked about this yet. When Bitty arrived, he wasn’t even allowed to revisit the kitchen before Jack was carrying him to the bedroom. Bitty isn’t complaining, but now he wants to talk to his boyfriend.

“I missed you too.” Bitty says, sliding up the bed so their faces are level with each other. It’s ridiculously corny, but he feels like he could fall into Jack’s eyes. “I missed this. Being with you. Not having to hide.”

“I’m sorry.” Jack says. He looks genuinely upset. They’ve had more than their fair share of conversations about their relationship, and Jack always seems to think that he’s doing Bitty a disservice by making them hide their relationship. Bitty’s always quick to reassure him that just _being_ with Jack is what makes him happy.

“Don’t be sorry.” Bitty replies. “Just be happy that we’re here. We’re here and I get to kiss you and call you my boyfriend.”

“I like being your boyfriend.” Jack says.

Bitty can’t stop smiling. After almost two months of hiding, of locking his door and shielding his phone, he’s got physical evidence in front of him of why it was worth all that and so much more.

“I love you.” Bitty says.

“Love you too.”


End file.
